Just keep swimming, keep trying, run the race, no matter how you slice the toast the bread always has the same ingredients….effort! (insert scream of frustration here) What happens when you want to give up? I here you, I’ve been there! Recently I was ready to walk away, to say enough! And then a funny thing happened as I headed for the exit, God whispered in my ear and told me that I wasn’t quite finished yet. If you are on your last leg and need a little inspiration, or something to ponder, read on…
1: You are not the first person to get hurt, it just feels like it
If you are hurt, angry, sad or just perplexed about what to do in a situation or with your life this is a turning point for you, a point where for me often fight or flight used to set in. Know that you are not the first person to ever be hurt and feel what you are feeling, and unfortunately you will not be the last. I honor and cry with you that you are hurting. Consider this a virtual hug and know that I am so sorry and stand in the gap of that apology for the one that hurt you or the worry that may be following you around.
2: There are others who you can talk to.
If you are trying to do life alone, please, please consider trusting to share with someone…a safe person who has earned trust. There is a great organization called Celebrate Recovery and a great resource that is worldwide. There are also others most likely in your world that if you pray about it God will bring them across your path. You see God never leaves you where you are at; He cares about you too much. More often than not there are people already in your world that can empathize about your situation. The biggest trick the devil tries to tell you is that you are alone. It’s a lie!
3: Forgiveness is never for the other person.
Sorry to sound harsh, and you may be cussing at your screen right now in tears saying there is no way in holy bleep that you will ever forgive…(you fill in the blank). Your pain is real, but forgiving is for your heart. It allows you to forgive the unforgivable, to love the unlovable and to be strong in your boundaries of not accepting the unacceptable. I know what I’m talking about, and sometimes it sucks, but the outcome is always the pliability of your heart.
4: Boundaries are OK.
I can tell you, I’ve read the bible forwards, backwards and sideways and I’ve yet to find in it that ‘thou shalt be a doormat’. No, forgiving is good but allowing dysfunction to continue is no good. Setting boundaries, standards and expectations is the key. Then if you are building trust back up you can follow those boundaries. And crossing them has consequences.
5. In ten years will it really matter?
I knew I was home in the church God has me at when I heard one of the lead pastors Holly Wagner say this. Why she said it is because it is true! Often there are many times where we have a dilemma and it is all consuming, or at least feels like it. But at the end of the day the big question is the above. In ten years will it really matter? I’ve lived long enough to honestly tell you that devastating emotions using applications 1-4 above now are things I cannot even tell you occurred when I evaluate them emotionally. But at the time it felt like the Titanic had sunk and I was Leonardo going down (as she says ‘I’ll never let go…’ and then she does!!! What the….?)
Yes our emotions lie, but we are the boss and as they want to take over know that you are still the boss. We are not talking stuffing emotions, but holding onto the reigns when they want to run off the cliff.
Pain hurts, and as I tell the best of them it will feel better when it stops hurting. You have the choice to stop, drop and roll out of danger. But you also have the choice to be strong enough to stay in the situation as long as you are called to and choose to walk out the difficulty you are facing. Often the stretch is painful, but in the end your reach is longer.